Those Three Words

I can't accept it. I can't even allow myself to think about it. Talk about straight up overwhelmed.
I remember every detail of the room at that time. Time stood still and I knew everything that was and is as you spoke to me. I remember your eyes, how they looked at me when you told me. Your lips as they moved, where you're arm was. I remember all these details vividly but cannot comprehend those words.
Those words did not penetrate my heart. My heart did skip a beat, maybe two, as it listened closely to what you said. My heart has never heard those words. It was foreign and unfamiliar, yet strangely fascinating. I'm pretty sure my heart gasped. It was stunned. I taught my class in shock, I talked to you in shock. I went home & sat down to think about it, process it. I play it all back in my head, right up until you said the words-and then it stops. I can't get past that 3 second sentence. Press rewind, start over, play And stop. And stop. And stop.
I like the sound. It feels like a good thing. It was like someone handed me a glass of water. Do I drink? Set it on the table? Give it to someone? These were the questions that I needed answered, so instead of asking, I took the glass of water with me and held it and looked at it and smelled it and examined it. And was puzzled by it. I finally decided to give it back to you until I discovered why it was given to me. Is my heart so hard? So unfeeling, so cold? What's happening? I want you to say it over and over again and at the same time I want to put my hands over my ears and beg you to stop. Please stop. Just hold me. Hold my heart. Be gentle with it. It's so fragile. It's learning to love again.